(written yesterday)

bad bad day...
lesson sux..
sch sux..
i hate it manz!!

mcb lesson already super sian diao le
dan after tat lehz..
go 3rd floor eat duno y
today suddenly got a rise in the human traffic there
until 10.30 dan reach klz
2nd meeting 1st grp is me grp
sianzz
haven read anything la~
in the end duno anything nv talk
wth!

dan nvm..
3rd meeting lehz
we do 19 slides..
she only wanted 7 slides
fine lo
7 slides for her..
but guess wat..
i get to present NOTHING!!
when he was giving out slides he gave slides to everyone in the grp except me la!!
wtf!!
kns!!
dan i see i like got no slide to present so ask him lo..
maybe i talk too soft or he simply wanted to ignore me
in the end he nv reply me..
dan i thot is he giv me tat time i nv listen so duno
dan nvm lo..
during presentation juz wait see maybe will like stop at a slide and tat's probably my slide
who knows until the last slide le..
still not my turn la..
dan wy realise tat and offered me to read out his slide
but me rejected..
if i use his slide dan he present wat..
can't be for myself and end up hai ppl rite~
dan iz like..
no one in the grp even bother to ask how come i dun hav any slide la~
damn sian diao le..

am i so useless tat the grp can seriously dun wan me to even present one simple slide
or izit tat i became an outcast somehow when i didn't know
or maybe i'm really so blend in wit the carpet on the floor tat people dun even notice tat there's a me around?
tell me which is it..
at least giv me a reason la!!
am i thinking too much or wat?
at tat point of time really felt SUPER SUPER SIAN DIAO..
almost wanted to cry..
can't believe tat after almost 2 yrs in rp and here i am super regretting again for joining tis sch
getting into this sch where alot of things (not meaning every but most?) are on the surface..

i hate it!!
the scheming, the fighting, the battles, the backstabbing..
watever..
i'm so tired of it.
i beg of u..
anyone..
kill me pls..
no way am i going to continue living in tis hurtful world..
definately not in rp..
tis sch sux..
everything seems to go wrong tis yr..
i hate it..
yes!
i'm running away..
and dun force me to face it coz i dun hav the courage to

dan the 3rd meeting faci still wan us all to ask qns
tat's even worst la~!!!!!
in first place, generating qns is a nono to me le..
wat adds on is the presentation thingy..
i even more sian diao can!
dan in the end whole klz asked qns except me..
bet u she'll giv me a D tis wk for not talking not participating and all..
i hate tis world~!
hate rp!!
if u do not wan any friends, wana learn how to scheme ppl, backstab ppl
rp is definately the best choice..
to think tat there's a sch in singapore tat actually teaches u tis EVERYDAY!!
i'm tired..
very tired..
should hav stood in the middle of the road today to juz let the car bang on me..
should hav stabbed myself wit a knife
or maybe jump down from one of the building in rp..
maybe i should..

band was ok
the only place where i could temporary forget all those things
and think bout others
in the end..
me got to play picc
hope tat i won't screw up wit it..


~fishy (i still hate tis place) ~