some lame jokes..

Car
Beng and Seng were excited and locked the car in a hurry,
forgetting to remove the key which was in the ignition. Realizing the
mistake,Beng asked,

'Why don't we get a coat hanger to open it.'

'No, that won't work' answered Seng. 'People will think we're
trying to break in.'

Then Beng suggested, 'What if we use a pocket knife to cut around
the rubber, then stick a finger in and pull up the lock?'

'No,' said Seng. 'People will think we're too dumb not to use a
coat hanger.'

The kan cheong Beng shouted, 'we'd better think of something
fast.It's starting to rain and the sunroof is open!'
------------------------------------------------------------------------
PIZZA
Ah Beng ordered a pizza and the waitress asked if he should cut it
in six or twelve pieces"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Not My Brother !

A pregnant woman gets into a car accident and falls into a deep
coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she is no
longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.

The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl.
The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them."

The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother-he's an idiot!"
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's
name?"

"Denise," the doctor says. The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not
a bad name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she
asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"

The doctor replies, DeNephew.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Italian ....

To impress his date, the young man took her to a very chicky
Italian restaurant. After sipping some fine wine, he picked up the menu and
ordered. "We'll have the Giuseppe Spomdalucci," he said.
"Sorry, sir," said the waiter. "That"s the owner."
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Stupid or What

Two rich men were talking over coffee one day and one of them said
to the other one. "Hey I tell you my driver is really stupid. If you
don't believe me I'll show you." He called his driver Ah Beng over and
said, "Ah Beng, here is $10 note, go to the car showroom and buy me a Mercedes".
To which Ah Beng replied, "Yes Sir! Right away, Sir!" and rushed off to the
Showroom.

The rich man then turned to his friend and said, "See I told you he
was stupid." The other rich man said, "That's nothing, you want to see
stupid, I will show you stupid." And he called his driver, Ali.
"Ali, go home now and check to see if I'm at home. " To which Ali
said, "Yes Sir! Right away, Sir!" and ran home. "See what I told you?
He doesn't even have enough brains to know that I cannot be at home
if I am here."

Later on, the two drivers met on the road. Ah Beng said to Ali,"Eh,
you know my boss is sooooooo stupid. He gave me $10 and asked me to go to
the car showroom and buy him a Mercedes.....Doesn't he know that today is
Sunday lah, the showroom is closed!"

Ali replied,"You think your boss is stupid? My boss lagi worse, he
asked me to go home to check if he is at home... He got handphone what, can
just call up to check lah, bodoh!!!"

posted by bie~~